What is whoring?

What is whoring?  Are all women whores?

I think the only time it isn’t whoring when a woman has sex with a man is when they both love each other mutually.  If a woman has sex with a man because she loves him, but he doesn’t love her, she’s whoring for his attention; if he loves her but she doesn’t love him, she’s whoring for whatever he’ll give her because of his love.*

That is to say, the only women who aren’t whores are women who have sex within a mutual-love relationship, celibate women, and women from whom sex is stolen.

Everyone knows it’s whoring if you take direct monetary payment from someone for sex.  Many people also admit that it’s whoring if a man buys a woman a meal and then he either expects sex afterward, or she feels obligated to give it, or if any sex happens that would not have happened if he didn’t feed her.  (For those who don’t think it’s whoring, where do you draw the line?  If a man buys me a $200 dinner and I sleep with him, is that whoring, if I wouldn’t have slept with him for $199?)

It’s whoring if I sleep with someone because he’ll give me a predetermined amount of cash money in-hand, but what if I sleep with him because he’ll give me a check that I can go cash later, after we have sex?  What if he just agrees to pay off my credit card bill?  What if he buys me designer shoes which I then pawn?  What if he buys me designer shoes and then I keep them and wear them?  What if the money I would have spent on those shoes instead goes to paying for my electricity bill or my cable or my car?  What if I was already able to pay all those things but I just kept the shoes because I liked them?

What if I sleep with a man because I know he’s rich and there’s a chance he’ll pay for my things if I make him like me enough?  What if I sleep with a man who is not rich, but is prominent in my academic field and I think that could lead to my meeting important people and getting a really great job?  What if I sleep with a man because he’s famous?  What if I sleep with a guy because he’s the coolest guy in my social circle?  Is that whoring?

What if I sleep with him because I think he’ll raise my social status, or what if I just sleep with him because it would be fun to hold the attention of the alpha for a few minutes?  What if I sleep with a man because he’ll invite me to the best party?  What if I give a man sex in exchange for keeping me entertained on a Saturday night?  What if I have sex with a guy just for some company?

A while ago I set up a dating profile where I advertised that if a guy could do me a few small favors I would willingly have sex with him.  Some of them ended up paying for my drinks and typical things like that, but others talked with me about job hunting or helped me with foreign language practice or showed me how to navigate legal or financial matters with which I was unfamiliar.  I don’t even think that the ones who talked with me about job hunting realized that that was the specific task I met up with them for–I think they just thought we were talking regular.  So, if they don’t realize I’m doing it, is it whoring?

I’m not saying that making $2000 in a week because you slept with ten people for $200 each is the same as going home with a guy because he gave you free tutoring or paid for your night out.  But I am saying that you can’t make a clear separation between all the different interactions I’ve just listed.

*I know the former definitely exists; I believe that the latter does exist also, mostly because I believe that all anomalies could possibly exist somewhere, but I think that what is often mistaken for man-to-woman unrequited love is usually just an immature young man’s inaccurate portrayal of his strong desire to have sex with someone who does not want to have sex with him.


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