LOST TIME

After a while of being extremely displeased with the treatment I received from my partners and male peers, I realized that I wanted to make it into a transaction.  I wanted to barter things or even take money directly every time I gave a guy what he wanted from me.  I felt the need to transactionalize sex very strongly like it was a calling.

I had no idea that what I was thinking of already had a name “prostitution” and there was a whole industry behind it.

For no clear reason I assumed that prostitution was not an option.  I mean it didn’t even cross my mind.  I don’t know why I was so against it because no one had ever explicitly indoctrinated me to be that way and my parents were never moralistic about sex.  I guess one deterrent was the risk of disease, which I now realize is more of a risk in “hooking up” than it is in a proper business exchange.  I think in part it has to do with those signs they post up on university campuses, which at my school were in the bathroom and said “1 in 4 college women have herpes.”*

I could have done so much with that time.  I already had the idea to do things that were pretty much prostitution.  But unfortunately, since people cannot experience every single thing in the world first-hand, they sometimes have to assume that when enough people say something is bad then that really means it is.  When other people implied prostitution was bad, I believed it.

*I just tried to search for a photo of it and Google gave me a bunch of other “1 in 4 college women has” statistics including HPV, STDs in general, and “cooties.”

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1 comment
  1. warwhores said:

    The concept of being upfront with expectations is possibly the most honest thing one human can do for another when sex is involved. The fact that money changes hands really makes no difference. Especially when prenegotiation results in clean and safe conditions for both (or the many) parties involved.

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